I, like many men, suffer from a peculiar mental affliction that causes the phrase "I Love You" to stall out somewhere between the thought process and the mouth. I guess it has something to do with the notion that if a man says...er....uh...well...(averted eye contact)...you know...that phrase...it indicates you have a "softer side". Or that you need that person. Or that you're capable of emotions that are unbecoming of someone so "verile, impervious to pain, and manly". Or that you're not strong enough on your own. Or some other similar rubbish.
Guys have been taught this behavior by our fathers, and their fathers before them, and so on through the generations. They didn't mean to...they just did. We have been shown since we were little boys how to behave as men. Or so our fathers thought. And, so we thought, and therefore immitated. I presume it has something to do with the hormones with which we are "blessed" too.
I hope before "The spirit of Christmas future" visits I might manage to cure myself of this plague, and maybe provide a different example to my sons. I have earnestly tried to rid myself of this paralysis. I'd very much like to muster the ability to... when I have it in my mind to tell someone......that they are really, really, really, really, important or... (Oh crap!)... that I love them... that I will be able to move the words to my lips and actually spit them out. But it all seems so awkward.
Now, to the real purpose of this writing. I wish to make it known to the Mothers (intentionally capitalized) in my life, that "I Love You". I know. You say..."What a coward's way out. He can't tell them himself. He has to write something on a blog and then try to get them to read it". Well, yeah...I can understand that line of thinking. And, in part, it's absolutely valid. I wish I wasn't a victim of the "unable-to-say-it" thing. But, even though I'm a "mass-communicator" in the electronic media by trade, some of my better attempts at personal communication have come in written form. I've found that what you're attempting to convey can be much more effective when you have the time...and aren't overwhelmed by all the emotion...to put in print exactly what's on your mind. But, I still make this promise. I will tell (audibly) all of the female members of my family listed below "I Love You" this Mothers Day. Please read on.
To my mother, Doris, who just underwent a week of pain and physical trauma because of major surgery.... "I Love You".
Your total support and understanding has been amazing. From boyhood, to manhood, you have always provided a loving smile, words of support, and a total commitment to anything, and everything, I've ever really needed. I have often thought about how lucky I am to have been born into a family with a mother (and father, Dad passed away in '81) so committed to a son's happiness. I wish every guy could have a mother like you. The world would be a much better place. I hope if I've learned anything, that it was to pass such love along to the next generation.
To the mother of my sons, and "my honey", Barb. "I Love You".
Where do I start? I can't begin to think about what my life would be without you. To think that it wasn't "love at first sight" still terrifies me. The fact that we worked together for a number of months before it hit me that you were my soul-mate speaks to the kind of emotional stupidity that I'm writing about. I can't believe that we've been married 27-plus years. I hope we are able to be together another 57...at least. Not likely. But, let's try. If that doesn't work out, at least we'll have eternity together whenever we go to that "big, sunny beach with the swim-up bar in the sky". You are my heart.
To my sister Bonnie, and the mother of my teriffic nieces and a great nephew, "I Love You".
You have put up with way too much crap from your brother over the years, especially those early years. I cringe when I think of some of the stuff that I did to you when we were kids. I don't know why I did them. Something about power over someone else, I guess. But, don't ever think I didn't love you all the while. I've watched, with admiration, as you've grown into a sister any man would be proud of. I admire everything about you, and your family. And I'm glad we've grown to be friends, as well as sister and brother. And, I promise not to laugh the next time you get a fishhook lodged in your scalp.
There are many other mothers in my life...both living, and heavenly...that should be mentioned.
The best mother-in-law in the world-- Julia (Julie). "I Love You"
My mom's mom...The late Laura..I called her "Honey". "I Love You"
My very special, late aunt "Teeny"--real name Christine. (Who never was able to be a mother...but was like one to Bonnie and me.) "I Love You"
To all the mothers who have touched my life in so many positive ways... "I Love You".
Happy Mother's Day!
See, I couldn't have gotten through that in person.